I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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