Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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