I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize