ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
