How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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