You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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