i think i scared a bird with my dick
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
