Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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