oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize