Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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