bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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