you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
