i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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