i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
