Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
