that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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