I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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