My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
