dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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