I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
