I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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