I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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