Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
