Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
