handjob tips. give me some.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
