The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
