And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
only if we run a train.
done.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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