i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
