3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this just has baby written all over it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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