There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
