i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize