Umm I'm too high to move.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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