This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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