wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
