im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Your dad touched me again.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize