I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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