I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
