you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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