just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize