I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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