I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
