What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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