Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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