So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
