Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize