You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
birth control should be required to get into college
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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