Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am puke
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
