it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
