i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize