All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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