i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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