No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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