Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
we should paint friendship bongs
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