i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He passed out mid-signature
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
