Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
