As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
