I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize