so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
