My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
