Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
