Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
