they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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