guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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