I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
