In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
