"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
