I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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