I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
