Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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