I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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