her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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