ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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