Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
