so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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