best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
