I feel like abortions should bother me more
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
